Dr. George Thompson explains his Verbal Judo communication principles to members of the Wisconsin Umpires Association. (Attn. Editors: Please credit photo Don Gorzek of the WI Umpires Association. Used with permission.)

Play ball, my way: Umpires learn to take verbal control

by Kathy Mangold

“How many of you have been insulted, yelled or cursed at?”

That was the question posed to the group of 200 or so men and boys crowded on the bleachers of a high school gymnasium.

Without pause, almost every hand goes up.

They glance at each other, knowingly. Because when you are an umpire of youth baseball, verbal abuse comes with the job.

On a cool evening in early spring, the Wisconsin Umpires Association met to talk business – the season starts in a few short weeks – and to get advice from a guest speaker, Dr. George Thompson, on handling encounters that are heated at best – and dangerous at worst.

“Your job is to keep the game going and keep everybody safe,” Thompson said. And when situations arise, “you need to think for them better than they can for themselves.”

For anyone who is not close to the game, rabid coaches and zealous parents might seem like media caricatures. But sports bullying is a problem at all levels, said Thompson, founder of the Verbal Judo Institute.

Thompson has been teaching tactical communications to police officers and the like for over 26 years; his methodology has been so successful that it’s been applied to other professions and for personal use. Additionally, he has worked with professional referees and coaches, including the NBA and NFL.

Adapting his techniques from law enforcement to sports is easy, he told the group: “You guys are the cops on the field.”

He said there’s a simple reason that umpires encounter swearing and yelling.

“Because it works,” he said. “Profanity stuns you, and they are trying to upset your balance.” Insulting an umpire – for his intelligence, age, competence or physical attributes – are attempts at personal attacks.

Blocking this is easy, Thompson said. Just stay professional.

“George Thompson doesn’t do umpire work,” Thompson said. “Umpire Thompson does. Once I put on the uniform, it’s ‘Showtime.’”

He calls this a “tactical mindset,” which means that insults shouldn’t be taken personally.

Instead of focusing on the verbal attacks, Thompson said umpires should adjust their priorities to stop the behavior and ignore the words.

“They can say what they want, as long as they do what you tell them to,” he said. What matters most, he said, is that the umpire remains calm.

He described an Asian philosophy called mushin, which means maintaining a calm, dispassionate manner, no matter what.

When he asked the group which individuals cause the most problems, the answer was unanimous: Parents.

His advice: Let them vent for a minute, redirect their behavior and resume the game.

“You need to learn how to shut people down with dignity and respect,” he said.

The job is tough, and the drop-off rate is steep. One-half of the referees quit their first year, he said, and then half of those remaining quit the second year.

The ages of the men on the bleachers seemed to reinforce the point: There were teen-aged boys and older men, with very few in between.

“You take a beating,” he told the group. “You must have strength, not fragile egos.”

After the presentation, Thompson stayed to sign copies of his book, “Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion.” He sold every copy that he brought along.

Without a doubt, the message of Thompson’s presentation resonated with members of the group, said WUA President Dan DeRemer. “Many of our umpires are looking for a way to handle coaches without throwing them out of the game; we really don’t want to do that.

“(Learning communication skills) is the final phase of being a great umpire versus an average umpire,” said DeRemer.

Thompson’s parting words to the group were this: Be tough.

“If you can’t handle the verbal abuse, then what are you doing being an umpire?”

For more information about Verbal Judo, visit www.VerbalJudo.com.